Not needed & used
How sad it is to feel like this. To be used and no one seems to appreciate me in the right way
When feelings fade
So here I am writing shits for the past few weeks of absent. Whatever happened for the past few weeks were a mixture of feeling and some how it contradicted with what I want myself to be.
Everything was so cool till I felt myself has been used, yes by someone near. How do you react when your someone close talked shit behind your back? and when you need some just to listen no to talk any, she/he the one that you BELIEVED somehow told others about it? How do you react? Yes I had to deal with these shits. But na-ah.. feeling fades. Somehow I should be thanking them for such hatred. No more forgive and not to forget, in my case. Im going to forget everything but Im not going to forgive.
OHHH another bad luck was, sent my laptop to be fixed and..... it turned out to be super malfunctioning. Yiks! Sooooooooooo money down the drain. Defuq with all that. Aku dh MAU pkiaq dan tak kisah, So Im posting pictures of foodsss at my lepak place. Kindaa expensive but yummmyyy ! :B *droooollsss* Location : Castle, Kg Baru.
Mix grilled, RM24 per plate
The rotation thingy is not working, but this is RM6 per bottle!
Cerita kepada rakan
So this a story of someone, someone I know for ages and someone very close. She is a girl, a girl that living her life so free back then. Her life was so jovial, happy, playful till the day she met someone who she thinks going to change her life totally.
She been through a relationship that changed her life totally. 365 days, since the day 1 she kept all her doubt aside. With all the rumors came to her, all the words that pulling her down, strangers pushing her will, and the invisible effort she had to bear with. She did gave up many times, and she admitted that was her mistake. Giving up was not the mistake but the failure of giving up totally and she continuously gave chances to the man who is unsure about her in his life.
So one day, sha made a decision. A huge decision.. which she thought going to be the best for them. She moved to place where her boyfriend stays but... the heart ache becoming worst. She was left alone and treated selfishly. All the efforts she made were bullshits and the man confessed that he only had a girlfriend in his life who is his ex. For the past 1 year she is so sure that she is only a replacement and rebound. But she gave up everything for the man, everything her heart, her soul and her life. She tried too much just to make the man happy and she willingly to stay with the man that verbally said to her that she is not in his priority and commitment list. So what I know about this someone....
I really want to tell her that, please stop chasing the man. Please listen to friends' advises. Let go and let go. Dont live in your past because you are hurting yourself so bad. The man is living so well without you and If he loves you, there will be acceptance for what you are, like you accepted him that way he is. For my dear friends out there, please pray for my dearly someone.. so that she can see for a better future without him...
My dearly close friends, I think you know who is that someone :')
Living past
Boring ok jadi manusia yg living past, boring sgt.
Forgive me, because I tend to forgive you. Forgetting about it? No.
So you call yourself a punk?
Lately Malaysia encountering to many politic crisis. TOO many!
So I had this a sudden attack of comment from NOBODY, I dont know who he is. Like nobody je. I knew him like years so mcm tk heran pun sgt dgn dia, sbb ada benda2 lepas yg pernah terjadi. So he is judging my liberal opinion which I think it is right for me. So he was questioning my punk and hardcore ethic.
Im asking you for real, banyak mana sgt kau adapt cara hidup punk dlm hidup kau? Ramai yang mulut-mulut banyak bunyi. OK you call yourself a punk.
1. Why are so dependent to the system then? Kenapa kerja dgn kerajaan? Mana punk kau. Come one lah, kau still nak duit. Kata punk, berhenti lah. Go against them, go against the system.
2. Aku pakai kereta, tp mana economic class ke kau? Kalau kau beli stuff pun beratus dan branded sana sini & you own your fucking vehicles, NON CONFORMITY, where the hell is that?
3. If you are so concern about the social injustice kenapa in early bila benda ni happening world wide kau tk pernah kisah? Jujur ckp dlm hati kau, benda ni jadi lama dkt dunia 3rd world country, have you ever care? have you ever contribute? Ada korang keluar beberapa ratus even sikit? Kau tk pernah kisah society kau kisah diri kau je kan. YES or NO.
3 questions, do answer each of it. If you can be liberal with any pieces of your mind, why cant I? NEVER ever admitted myself a PUNK/HARDCORE I dont make any self acknowledgement. NEVER. I dont have to AGREE with your whole bunch of ideology because I want to be accepted or to fit in. Kau yang ckp banyak then attack personal question in the end, cermin diri kau dulu. Selama ni kau pernah respect org ke? Especially me, apa kau dah buat dulu dlm life kau? Hahhh.
Aku tk perlu nk bangga diri aku dgn posting mcm mcm dkt fb, at least aku belajar dunia ini dari org tua aku, dari life time experience aku travel, dgn sakit yg Tuhan bagi. Korang pernah rasa sakit dunia? Tk pernah kan? So much dependent dkt bf, friends, clan kau.
PS - Tell your friends yg ada same thoughts of mine to stop going to gigs or etc.
Irritated !
Had this irritating and pathetic conversation with someone.
LIKE SERIOUS kot dude? Whats up with blaming EVERYONE because of 1 person. Take your past as a lesson not as a pin point for you to blame what you are now. The way you are now, is the way that you choose independently to be.
I went through major break up, I went through so much. & I still think.. everyone from my past is a bless from God. EXCLUDING THAT ALONG, he owes me money kot! Apa apa pun, I am thankful for the past I had to go through.
Like really?
So everything I did in the past was been taken lightly. Im not screwed up, but I just sad. Super sad.
Done with deleting fucking posts about dearly him, deleted all the konon related relatives and friends of his and also I am totally formatting my life for a better way of life. I just need a man to rely on, a man that will be responsible with his actions, a man that respects a woman and handle her with care & understands what she feels. If everything was only a mistake and regret what left to be cherish then? So a man konon risau about me telling me this and that but he already left, leaving me half way. You are so fake! Apalah in the end of the conversation you have to tell that you are STILL CONCERN but actually you dont. Its like NEVER kot.
Its not like I am hysterically denial toward love, but now is the time to move on to someone new. Im not praying any Karma to pull you down into drain and suffocate you with all the shits. You are my dearly love and Im praying the best for you.
PS - You dont tell a woman she was only a mistake and regret, after all. You the one who thought her to do this and that. BUTTT.. alah its still the woman's fault kan? What to do..... At least I came this far to show a fucking false effort to someone... entah... someone apa eh? I am not sure. Hatred much?
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