The Medium to Write & Tell

Sampah

This is my bitter loss story
Wounded & killed
Famished in the blood lust humanity
& let the soul to live in agony

Ok I might label this as emo, angry or whatever negative shits that can be used for this entry. So here I am writing this with an aggravated feeling. Through what I had discovered what were happening all these while, I was dealing with people I can call TRAITOR.............

I think I pass in writing shit about you. You know why? Because you are clueless with words you are using. "Friends for benefits" benda paling lawak aku baca. Mungkin tu bukan refer dkt aku. Tapi what I remember kau tk pernah tolong apa apa. Sooo.. sudah-sudah-sudah lah nk label org tk pernah ada dgn kau. Kau pun layan org mcm hamba, pergi balik berjemput (YES aku mengungkit)

I know the year snake begun, but please jangan lah belit belit mcm ular. Kau belit sana belit sini. Ended up hidup dkt takak tu. Tak nampak lagi? Heh. Masalah manusia adalah

PALING SUKA MENYIBUK DAN BUSY NK BERBELIT SAMPAI LUPA DIRI KEDUDUKAN MASIH DEKAT BAWAH

Sedih

"I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground. But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."

Eh apa dah jadi

So lately everyone is posting theirs recent vacation's pictures. As for that Burger Ramli, I had enough of her pictures sbb tiap tiap bulan pun pergi melancong luar negara. As burger kan? Oh but take note of this, dia tk pakai duit bapak yg berlegar legar dlm otak awak. She earned it in hard way by working (EHHHH WHY ALL SUDDEN AKU NI) So never mind about her, So my plan screwed up by my mom, my biological mom. After nearly a year of planning and saving things went bizarre and it aint happening at all (Mungkinlah) I am still trying to accept things positively because I believe my parents love me so much and all these years they have no idea that I went backpacking alone (Its not alone alone, my friends and I will meet at one specific place and then 'follow your heart')

So that was the only reason why I was so reluctant telling them my plan back then.

I cant set off some of my friends' perception for theirs thoughts of "oh anak org kaya boleh lah senang minta parents" I dont mind with that 'wise' judgement by not knowing who I really am and what am I doing. Tapi kan, aku dah bosan dgn some people yang cant stop whining and comparing. Hello, I know you are working but you are not the only who works over here? Hello hello? Takkan terus lahir umur 25 thn kerja and terus berduit? Hello hello hello? Come on, dont tell me that you are so stupid judging others based on the parents' wealth kan? Ke kau dengki sebenarnya? Ke kau bodoh sgt sebab terlampau create scene doom susah gila babi dlm kehidpan kau tu?

Tidak apalah, blog ini. Just nk ckp stop whining, and stop judging others yg kau tak kenal. Actually kau tk bosan ke? They dont even bother about your existence, but you keep on concerning every bit they are doing? MY GOD, gile pathetic kau ni. Seriously move on, stop comparing, stop labeling, stop judging, stop whining. You are why?

NONE OF YOUR THOUGHTS MATTER AND YOU ARE NOBODY.

PS - Kalau pakai duit mak bapak pun knp? Duit mak bapak, tak kacau duit mak bapak kau pun. Lawak lawak lawak lawak. Jealous much? Open sikit otak

Jack

"saya tak tau pun"

"awak apa tau? semua pun awak tak tau"

Dialog apa dkt atas tu? Rahsia.... lately life is so.. nothing. I cant be sure if it is the life or me. So, till we meet again. Haha. Dont you think Jack is adorable? He is loving, manja dan segala segala. He is my coolest pet ever after Sepit! Kalau pandai cari mata dia

2013

While I was in the shower just now, the idea was pouring down! But now I am kinda blur where to start writing. THIS IS ABSURD! So what happened lately? What can I say is... sadly.. NOTHING. Mentally I am strong, physically.. I think I am sick. Yeah you know the SLE thingy but alah ada apahal kan? SLE je pun. Oh wait before I get myself to melancholic part, I would like to announce that I am official done with my studies! On the last day I finished my paper, my previous boss texted me whether I am free to help out with some audit job in Kedah. I am tired indeed but somehow I am delightful with the offer because I miss my job.. investigating, calculation, get crazy with figures and feeling snobbish if I cant get things right. Ehhh it doesnt sound so right kan? But who cares, that is who I am. (But I dont really get the opportunity to help tho, so I wasted most of my time in the room)

Before I go into deeper, can we please all pray for Dr Intan, who is a lecturer of mine. She was diagnosed with brain tumour for the past few weeks and this is sad because for me she is the coolest lecturer ever! (But I tell you what, failure rate in her hand was massive during the test! She is strict!) May your prayer be with her and thank you.

So regardless of being sick, me as usual... I still do things I love. I love baking. Most of the time I bake with my sister, with my mom, with my niece and anyone that want to bake. I love to cook but I dont think that I LOVEEEE IT SOME MUCH because when the kitchen messed up, my mom just cant stop babbling (she is more like an annoying DJ in the radio, but I do love her you know) My plan about going back to KL was postponed since my dearly Mom got herself a fractured right hand, literary she is handicap now for at least 2 months. So here I am trying to be useful to her even though I am not.

HER PERFECTION BLEW ME OFF

You know what I mean, I am not saying that she is fussy or moody or grumpy. But my mom is a wonder woman. There is nothing in this world she cant do. So when it comes to me, ........ I dont think I am at her at all. So yeah.. not to belittle and to be harsh on myself, I will drop the issue (another escapism)

So last Decemeber as I remember on the 14/12/2012 we celebrated Jep's birthday 10 days in advance because I wanted to make it special. I get bored with the idea of fancy expensive present (I was broke too) so I decided to give an edible present but yet to be remembered. I hope so! Below was the CAKE, it came out with a Municipal Waste's logo on it and it was blueberry flavouring. Yeah I know that I am a sweetheart and creative (jgn puji banyak banyak) Hahaha. Ok Perah San sikit sahaja!

Then what else? Oh I have cats, 2 of em. One is from KL, which/who ? Kaklong brought along during her last visit and now he is permanently staying over the country side (Kedah) cewah, macam aku duduk kampung pula kan? His name is BIG CAT (below) he weighted more than 3kg and he is BIG I tell you. This picture was taken using my 50mm so nampak lawa lawa sikit lah kan? Kamon puji lah sikit. I waited him to sleep like half an hour kot!

So my another lil precious is Jack. No 50mm for him since he is so hyperactive I cant even get any shoot (to let you know that Im using manual focusing for me 50mm, due to the non expertise I barely catch up with that little rascal) So camera phone will do! Both of them were adopted... not from the shelter but Big Cat was found wondering around the neighbourhood as for Jack I took him from a friend of mine.

Sooo... I think that it. You know what. I am going to be active as possible in writing. Because I am bored of whining in the twitter, reading others shits (as if I dont do that kan) but twitter is... I dont know, but I dont like to be there like 24/7. Till we meet again virtually through my writing. Assalamualaikum and Good day all! While waiting, I am going to kill my all day long in the room reading books and indulge good music. Yes. Be jealous! Lulz

December

Officially we are already in December, *heartache* I realised that I have achieved nothing much during the year. I worked for 6 months in Kualelelele Lumpur it was fun. Seriously I love the company itself but the moment I was there. There was too much pain & heartache. Cant blame anyone, I was the one who made such decision to move there.

So.... another year has been wasted.................

Hoping for a brighter day so that everything shines and overcome the shadows. Insyallah

New world, breaking dawn

Tajuk nk acah acah power je kan? OH MAI GODDDD, after the 6 months incident I got myself away from any writing medium so that I wont be complaining this and that. But, now.. here I am giving shits so that you can indulge the smell and of course virtually XP. Ok I am starting to write craps but here we go with some pictures before I start telling all of you what happened for the past few months....

(Kaklong's)

TARAAAAAAAAA! As you can see up above, yeah the one with colourful topping and decorations. Yes I am totally back into baking thingy. I bake I bake I bake I bake! and I cook too *eh tetiba* So anyone who is interested in making any order for reception/birthday/or saja saja makan. You can buzz me ok. OK! so whats up? Whats me lah kan. So..... nothing much lah kot. Eh ok wrong starting, for the past few months I have been a busy girl. I MEAN REALLY busy. I dont have the time to please myself, I spend 24/7 isolating myself just to study. HAHHH semua ini menipu. Well actually, I had fun... too much fun till I barely have the time to update this crap. So so so so.....

For the past few months, as usual. HOSPITAL is the place I go like.. forever. Went to Thailand gazillions time just to accompany my friends. Especially si burger Ramli..eh anak Pak Ramli, Fatin. Cukup tahun aku rasa aku ckp Thailand, then.. we had surprise birthday party for Dz, my dearest friend & I baked a cake for her (sebenarnya mak). Went to CIMA conference... bla bla bla. Too much nk beritahu ok. TOOO MUCH. Now nk letak gambar.......................... nfveivwovnwpevn. May you enjoy it.. in a clueless way

Hah happening kan gambar gambar aku? SO be jealous. LULZ okok. Sambung balik post gambar. Muhahahahahaha... tet tetetete*

So thats the end of everything for tonight. I have already posted random picture through out the months I went through. All I can say it, I learned lesson and I found new friends. I cant deny that there was time I stumble and I cried like a baby, but those thing made me stronger by day. I could not imagine myself for not having any trouble, it is sooooooooooo not going to be my life, Muahahahaha. God bless, thank you for the happiness and thank you for the joy.

6months/setengah tahun/half a year

YOOOOWWW, Im back with some bubbly mood! Ok if Im faking this mood, it means that I love you too much and I dont like seeing you to be worried because of me. Sweet tak? Heee. So things happened. TOOOO many things. It drove me crazy, energy drained, emotional drag, hyper active and etc. Since I am no longer in facebook, twitter acts as my interaction medium. Yahhh, I know, Im getting bored of it too, because I cant upload my whole bunch of album in it but due to some provocation I had to do so.

I AM IN THE PROCESS TO HEAL & TO PROTECT MY HEART

So tonight entry gonna be fulled with lots of pictures, taken randomly and all over the places. Via instagram of someone. HAHAHA. So here we go?

These are my babes, my lovely gang. My crime mates... After a long 12 yrs, coming back to KL is full with pleasant because I have the chance to get in touch with them. Fyra not in the picture :'( Alahai. She wasn't around at that moment.

From the pic above, she is one the right side ye kwn2, a besties of mine get engaged. Aku dgn dia dulu selalu kena kejar anjing :') we collect cute figure and addicted to game. & now she is someone's fiancee. Anak mama dah besar! All Im wishing you is to be happy and bless forever and ever. Love you Nini ♥

This is my handsome Qitto. Thanks for being there for me. My down, my up :') Dia yang ajar aku minum Starbucks tegar. Yes thisssss!

Lastly this is MEEEE! So... yeah what happened? Been ill, pressured, break down.... But Im thanking everyone for making my 6 months to be superb awesome & also for everyone to be there for me. The past 6 months I learned how to handle problems. Ok staying all alone in a triple storey house was not that awesome BUT atleast I learn how to manage things all by myself. I am also thanking, to the one who made up all the provocations and you know what dearly stranger. You helped me ALOTTTTT. Thank you again. All I feel right now is,

Feeling bless for what is happening and I am lucky to have such wonderful siblings. I dont know what is happening right now but I am praising god in whatever he does for me not. Oh I love you too Najwa Saifuddin ! <--- Advisor all away from Bristol ok !

Oh tooooo you, you are trying so hard to pull me down, but I promise you in the end if this game you are going down and YOU gonna pay! :* lulz

Not needed & used

How sad it is to feel like this. To be used and no one seems to appreciate me in the right way