I am racist

Semasa di MCA kindergarten

Farewell party aku di Melaka sempena nk pindah Kedah

Birthday celebration di rumah aku

Selepas 13 thn kami masih disini.......

I have friends that came all the way from Melaka just to accompany me breaking fast during Ramadhan. I have friends to visit during Chinese New Year, Deepavali & Xmas. I have friends that understand how I am "berkedut and cair melebur" when I am exposed to the sunlight. These people are friends, I dont care losing the one I know for years but made no significant in my life, but these people.. they did and do so! Regardless the races, if you are reluctant to change. No one can help you. So please stop provoking. The mainstream media was dumb giving such racial statement, but can you get any dumber with actually trying to prove that you are not racist with words and split more oil to let it burn? What I am asking is now, please stop the provocation, stop giving statement, stop reminding the hatred. I love my friends........  

We own the prejudice, dont deny it. But we are living harmony now. LET IT BE and do cherish it! I am a racist? NOT, heks!

Tanggal Mei

Here I am expressing how frustrating life is to see my friends or family keep on using offensive words due to the 13rd election on this coming 5th of May. I know the heat is pumping when everyone excitedly waits for the new faces in the line for Malaysia’s ruler. So enough for that…… You know, my blog is the place for me to whine and to express all my negativity kan. So here I am! Wooooo! So for the past 3 weeks I was in Kuala Lumpur for Nini’s reception. It was an ultimate superb fun event! The families are warm & friendly, foods galore like every minute & obviously I am happy to see the girl that I used to play along with during my childhood is now someone’s wife. There were tears in my eyes during the solemnization,thinking not to have her around anymore (bodoh kan? Dia ada je 24 jam bosan tgk) HAHAHA. No, actually it was the sudden feeling, the feeling that I can’t even describe what was it all about. Oh mybe I was too happy for her till I burst out. 




That was Nini’s part, now this is my part. The Journey… Cewah! During my 2 weeks so called holidays, I tried to slot it with activities, such as INTERVIEWS. Yes, I been to several companies but I still haven’t get any feedback. Orrr…………… I am just not worth it. I went to 3 international companies and 1 local company which I can say among the top developer in Malaysia. There is thought in my mind that holding me back to start applying for more interviews. After all the promising words given, 2 ways interaction made, negotiations & inquiry made… In the end of the interview when they ask me

‘Do you have anything else to share or ask?” 

Then surely my answer will be.. or should I call it as a question?

“Sir/Madam/Miss do you well alert that in my application form I have written that I am diagnosed with SLE blab la bla” 

They were shocking and responded like, Oh really? With the quick gesture checking back the form and asking me in details about the disease (which I understand why they had to do that). That was not the point actually… The point is, I think I am struggling in telling the truth for what I am now. I don’t want to lie because in the future it will cost me a fortune to my reputation and yes I don’t want to be in a company where they think I will be a burden to them. So seriously I am sad. I am trying to tell myself for time being, there is no luck for me and what I am now is not a problem to any of them…………………… 

So here I am now back in Kedah, last Monday was my last interview. Due to the SUNDAY incident my body is aching and I have bruises all over my body. Apa nk buat, nasib badan… hati sedih boleh gembirakan, badan sakit apa boleh buat? Cuma tahankan lah labu! Kekeke (PADAN MUKA AKU) 

Aku percaya ada cahaya dalam gelap, 
Aku percaya ada kelam dalam terang, 
Aku percaya kesesakan kini untuk ganjaran kelapangan yg dijanji. 
Akan aku yang hina ini ukir senyum tiap hari. 
Kerana hati ku & perjuangan ku belum mati………